The Weight of Festive Expectations

How to Let Go of Perfection & Find Joy

The festive season can be magical - filled with family time, holiday cheer, and cozy moments. But for many women, it’s also a time when the weight of expectations, responsibilities, and endless to-do lists can feel crushing. From planning dinners to decorating the house, coordinating gifts, and keeping everyone’s spirits high, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

In fact, a survey by YouGov found that 72% of women report feeling more stressed during the holiday season than at any other time of year. And it’s no surprise. Society still often expects women to take the lead on planning, while juggling work, childcare, and maintaining a household. But what does that pressure really cost? The answer: your peace of mind.

If you’re feeling like you’re carrying the mental load of the holidays (and let’s face it, it’s a lot), you’re not alone. The mental load of managing family life and social obligations is real, and it often falls disproportionately on women. According to a Bupa study, one in three women say they find the pressure to be “the perfect holiday host” particularly overwhelming. But here’s the thing - perfection is overrated.

The holidays should be a time of joy, not stress. So, if you’re struggling to juggle it all, it’s time to get real about what you can control - and let go of what’s draining your energy.

Why We Feel This Pressure

First, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: the mental load. This term refers to the invisible and often unspoken work of planning, organising, and remembering every little detail of family and social life. It’s like a constant running checklist in your head, and it’s exhausting. During the holidays, this mental load often spikes, as women are expected to manage everything from meal planning and shopping to keeping up with holiday cards, coordinating travel plans, and making sure everyone feels “extra special” this time of year.

But here’s the truth: it’s OK to not be the one who does it all. And while it might feel like you’re letting others down, you’re actually taking the best care of yourself and those around you by setting boundaries and prioritising your wellbeing.

How to Make It Through: Practical Tips to Stay Organised and Present

Here’s how to manage the festive chaos without losing yourself in the process.

1. Acknowledge the Mental Load and Share It

The first step is recognising that you’re carrying a lot of invisible weight. And you don’t have to carry it alone. Talk to your partner, friends, or family about how they can help. It’s OK to ask for help when you need it, and it’s OK to delegate tasks - whether it’s wrapping gifts, picking up groceries, or taking care of the kids. The holidays are a team effort, and you don’t have to do it all on your own.

2. Reframe Your Expectations

The pressure to make everything perfect? Let it go. We’re all human, and the idea of a flawless holiday experience is just that - an idea, not a reality. If you’re feeling stretched, focus on what truly brings you joy. Is it baking cookies with your kids? Going for a walk with your partner? Make time for what matters most and drop the rest. You can create meaningful memories without doing everything.

3. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)

It’s easy to say “yes” to everything because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. But you’re not a superhero - and setting boundaries is not only necessary for your wellbeing, it’s actually a healthy example for those around you. Learn to say “no” or “not this year” to certain activities or events that add unnecessary stress. Your time and energy are precious, and you deserve to enjoy the season, too.

4. Priorities Self-Care - Even for 5 Minutes

During the holidays, it can feel like there’s no time to relax or recharge. But self-care doesn’t need to be a full day at the spa (though that sounds lovely!). It can be as simple as taking five minutes to breathe deeply, journal, or have a cup of tea. These small moments of care will recharge your mental batteries and keep you grounded when everything feels like it’s piling up.

5. Embrace Imperfection

This is the real secret to surviving the holiday season: perfection isn’t the goal. Instead, focus on what truly matters - connection, joy, and presence. Whether the turkey is overcooked or the kids don’t sit still for family photos, it’s the moments of love and laughter that will stay with you. So let go of the pressure to be flawless, and just enjoy the ride.

6. Take Time to Reflect

The holidays can fly by in a whirlwind, but before they’re gone, take a moment to reflect. What are you grateful for this season? What memories do you want to create with your loved ones? Reflecting on your values and intentions can help you stay centered and remind you of what’s truly important.

You Deserve a Stress-Free Holiday. You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to make everything perfect. This year, take the pressure off yourself and create space for the things that truly matter. Stay organised, yes - but also, stay present. Allow yourself to feel the magic of the season and be with the people who make it special.