you are the magic: how self-love transforms everything
RELATIONSHIPS
WRITTEN BY DELYTH JOHNSON
MARCH 23, 2025
As I sat down to write this article, I felt called to sit face to face with my younger self.
A love letter to my inner child, my inner teenager, my inner young woman—naive, innocent, desperate to be loved, and willing to betray herself just to get her (unmet) needs met.
So here goes. And as I write this to the woman I once was, I am also speaking to your inner child, your inner teenager—the part of you that still wonders:
“Am I enough? Am I lovable as I am?”
Dear Younger Me,
You are already enough. You are already whole. The magic you are
searching for isn’t outside of you—it’s been within you all along.
By your very nature of being here, full of life with your own innate gifts and
talents, you are deeply loved. And yes, you are magical.
In this article:
01 The Roots of a Lack of Self-Love
related articles
The Roots of a Lack of Self-Love
The things that happened in the past —as a child, as a teenager— weren’t your fault. You did nothing wrong.
But you made the past mean something was wrong with you.
As children, we lack the emotional reasoning of an adult. We believe everything revolves around us, so when painful things happen and we don’t receive the support we need, we assume:
"It must be my fault."
And as we grow, this belief lingers beneath the surface, quietly shaping how we see ourselves and how we let love in (or not).
"If something is wrong with me, how can I be truly loved?"
So we reject ourselves before anyone else can. We betray our needs. We push love away or cling to unhealthy relationships.
We tell ourselves: “I have to be perfect to be loved.”
But no one is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect.
And of course, the world reflects back the beliefs we hold inside—so the cycles of self-abandonment continue, leaving us wondering once again:
"What is wrong with me?”
But my dear younger self, this is all false.
There has never been anything wrong with you.
You are enough—just as you are. You have always been lovable. Nothing you’ve ever done or experienced has changed that.
And the key to remembering this?
Self-love.
Alongside, a deep sense of self-worth and knowing you are safe.
When you reclaim your love for yourself, life opens up in ways you never imagined.
What is Self-Love?
Based on my own experience—and the years I’ve spent guiding others—self-love is not a concept. It is an embodied way of being.
It is the way you care for yourself.
At times, with the tenderness of a loving mother.
At times, with the firm boundaries of a protective father.
It means you treat yourself with love and respect.
You speak kindly to yourself.
You stop beating yourself up.
You learn to accept your body, even when the world tells you that beauty has to be a certain way.
You stay grounded in yourself, connected to the wisdom of your own being.You honour your needs and desires—and you allow yourself to voice them.
And importantly?
You begin to recognise what healthy love and relationship looks like—and you refuse to accept anything less.
Self-love creates a solid foundation.
When you deepen your love within, you no longer accept a lack of it from the world around you.
But when you don’t love yourself?
You may betray yourself to be accepted.
You may give yourself away in relationships.
You may push love away because deep down, you don’t believe it’s safe.
Crucially, self love is something we learn.
The Power of Self-Love
Choosing self-love changes your consciousness.
When your thoughts and beliefs shift toward love, your emotions shift too.
When your emotions shift, your entire energy and presence changes.
You move from feeling low, anxious, and depleted to feeling alive, open, and abundant.
And not only does this transform how you experience life—it also impacts your health and wellbeing.
When you shift from self-rejection to self-acceptance and self-love, you will notice:
You are more present, rather than lost in harmful ruminating thoughts about yourself.
Your nervous system becomes more regulated, creating a sense of stillness while traversing life’s ups and downs with more grace for yourself and others.
You feel softer in your body, as though a layer of tension has been released.
You stop fixating on what’s "wrong" and start noticing what’s beautiful about you.
You feel more connected to yourself and to others.
You begin to see life, love, and people differently - with more clarity, compassion, and honesty.
You start attracting healthier love and opportunities, rather than staying stuck in draining cycles.
Self-Love, Health & Wellbeing
The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body. Dr. Bruce H. Lipton
On a biological level, self-love and compassion reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) while increasing oxytocin, the hormone of connection. Practicing self-love also helps rewire the brain toward a more positive and loving self-perception.
Loving thoughts and perceptions create loving peaceful emotional states and the corresponding biochemistry to activate your body’s ability to self-heal.
Lifes Magic & Transformations
Thoughts are electric and feelings are magnetic’, Dr. Joe Dispenza
When you embody thoughts and feelings of self-love and self-worth, life responds to you differently, because:
You feel more joy, wonder, and love.
You still have ups and downs—but you don’t stay stuck in the down.
You realise the journey isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about returning to yourself and becoming more of your true self.
And this is so empowering because now, you know how to tend to yourself.
You parent yourself the way you always needed.
You love and nurture yourself as you would a child.
And in doing so, you allow your inner child to feel safe enough to finally have fun again.
This is the true gift of self-love.
You no longer depend on someone else to give you love—you are love.
You return to the innocence and wonder of the child within you.
And when you realise that…
That’s when life becomes truly magical.
Because now?
You are no longer waiting for love.
You are no longer chasing love.
You are love.
And that energy within you shifts everything - aligning you with love in all its forms.
My invitation to you today.
Pause for a moment.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
If you could sit with your younger self, look her in the eyes, and whisper one loving truth… what would it be?
And today, can you choose one small act of self-love?
Speaking kindly to yourself.
Setting a boundary.
Placing a hand on your heart and reminding yourself: "I am enough. I always have been."
Because you are.
about the author
CONTRIBUTING WRITER
Founder of The Becoming, Therapeutic Facilitator, Space Holder, and Guide with over 17 years of experience dedicated to women’s wellbeing.
Blending subconscious reprogramming, somatic practices, inner child healing, lifestyle shifts, and deep transformational work to help women become more confident and free in themselves so that life and love evolves!
delyth
YOUR NEXT MUST-READ:
-
![]()
why you belong in the tonic insider
COMMUNITY
-
![]()
the art of seasonal styling: simple swaps
LIFESTYLE
-
![]()
face yoga: the skincare secret you didn’t know you needed
WELLBEING
