the unspoken rules of the playground

MOTHERHOOD

A smiling toddler in an orange and blue shirt sitting in a swing, being pushed by an adult at a playground.

WRITTEN BY TONIC

MARCH 23, 2025

Welcome to the Jungle (Gym)

The playground…a chaotic utopia where toddlers reign supreme, snacks are currency, and mums communicate through knowing glances. It’s a battlefield of skinned knees and endless games of tag, but it’s also a sanctuary. Whether you’re there for an hour of energy release or a hopeful shot at making a new mum friend, the playground comes with its own set of unspoken rules. And once you’re in, you’re in.

In this article:

01 The Playground Personalities

02 The Unspoken Rules

03 The Group Chat That Binds Us

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The Playground Personalities

Let’s be honest, every playground has its cast of characters. You may not know their names, but you definitely know their vibes.

  • THE OVER-PREPARED MUM: First-aid kit? Check. Sunscreen? Reapplied every 30 minutes. She has extra water bottles, snacks, and possibly a portable fan. She’s ready for anything, including your child’s inevitable fall.

  • THE CHILL MUM: Effortless in leggings and oversized sunglasses, iced coffee in hand. She responds to every tumble with a nonchalant “You’re okay!” and has perfected the art of relaxed supervision.

  • THE SNACK DEALER: This mUm’s bag is a Mary Poppins-level miracle of goldfish, apple slices, and fruit pouches. She will absolutely offer your kid a snack without hesitation. Bonus points if she remembers your child’s snack preference.

  • THE COMPETITIVE MUM: She’s cheering (loudly) during the slide races, clocking jungle gym victories, and possibly giving subtle pointers from the sidelines. It’s all fun and games… except when it’s not.

  • THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY: She’s already set up two playdates, exchanged book recommendations, and created a shared Pinterest board for birthday party themes. If you need a mUm friend, she’s your girl.

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The Unspoken Rules

While the playground may seem like a free-for-all, there’s a sacred code that mums instinctively follow. Violating these? You’ll get the look 👀

  • RULE #1: The Snack Exchange Is Sacred. If a toddler eyes your kid’s snack, it’s playground etiquette to offer one. Bonus playground points if you have the good snacks. Yes, the fruit snacks shaped like dinosaurs.

  • RULE #2: You Spot It, You Parent It. See a child dangerously eyeing the top of the slide? If no mum is within a three-step radius, it’s now your responsibility to play lifeguard. That’s just the deal.

  • RULE #3: Swing Diplomacy Is Key. Everyone wants the swing. If your kid is on minute 13 and there’s a visible line forming, it’s time to deploy the classic, “One more minute, then we’re all done!”

  • RULE #4: Bathroom Runs Are a Group Effort. You will absolutely, at some point, need to ask a stranger to keep an eye on your kid while you sprint to the bathroom. Everyone understands.

The Group Chat That Binds Us

Once you break through the surface-level playground banter, you may find yourself inducted into the ultimate mum milestone: the group chat. It’s part lifeline, part comedy goldmine. You’ll get:

  • Unfiltered snack reviews.

  • “Which stain remover actually works?” debates.

  • Detailed accounts of rogue toddler tantrums.

  • The occasional “Is it too early for wine?” poll.

The playground may bring the group together, but the chat is where the real friendship happens.

At the end of the day, we’re all just mums trying to survive the chaos and maybe even enjoy it. Whether you’re the Snack Dealer, the Chill Mum, or just doing your best not to lose another water bottle, the playground is a space where the rules are unwritten but universally understood.

So, next time you’re dodging rogue toddlers and negotiating swing turns, give a nod to the mum on the bench. She’s probably thinking the exact same thing as you: Did I pack enough snacks?

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