how my biggest fear became the goal that changed my life

PERSONAL GROWTH

Lady hiding in fear from scary shadow

WRITTEN BY JESS

APRIL 22, 2025

Do you ever wonder what your life could be like if you left your corporate job and followed your heart to do what brings you joy?

Choosing your own schedule, the clients you want to work with, being more available for your children, doing meaningful work. Sounds perfect, right?

It's amazing how quickly those positive daydreams turn to negative ‘what ifs’ and then spiral into all the reasons you think you can't change.

In this article:

01 From Daydreams to Decision

02 The Fear Factor

03 Navigating the Change Cycle

04 Your ‘Why’ Will Move You

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Lady writing in journal

Well, 18 months ago I made that change, leaving the ‘comfort’ of the corporate world to pursue a life that would allow me to work on my terms so I can be a more present and available parent. 

It was a big leap. Single parent. Sole income. Retraining. Self employment. It was the best and most challenging professional decision I have ever made, but the first thing I had to do was stop letting fear control my decision making.

Making change of any kind is by its nature scary. The real question is - how much life are you missing by letting fear call the shots?

Something I learned and worked through with my coach is there are five stages we all go through in a ‘change cycle’:

  1. Uninformed optimism “I will love being my own boss and doing the work that makes me feel fulfilled”

  2. Informed pessimism “What if I can’t manage to bring in enough clients to pay my bills?”

  3. Valley of despair “The training is challenging, have I made the right choice?”

  4. Informed Optimism “I’m starting to feel comfortable with this, I can see it taking shape”

  5. Success and fulfilment “I’m qualified and working with my first clients, I made it”

Woman sitting on a couch by a window, holding a cup, with sunlight streaming in.

We’re wired to spot danger - it’s how we stay safe. But when we don’t face our fears, they quietly shape a life smaller than the one we want.

My fears were many and included:

  • What if I fail?

  • What will people think of me?

  • How would I cope with the reduced income? 

  • Will I be able to support us and cope with the change of working style?

I realised my biggest fear; that my daughter would feel like she always came second to a corporate job that bought us nice holidays, but took me away from her when she needed me the most.

Recognising this helped me reframe this fear and convert it into my goal:

I will create a life that allows me to work independently so that I can prioritise parenting while doing meaningful work that brings me joy.

I am now thriving as an executive coach and marketing specialist, both bring me so much fulfilment, but not nearly as much joy as I find in being able to do the school run, attend all the college open days or work through GCSE challenges with my daughter.

My biggest learning was that by digging deep into my biggest fear, I could understand my real motivation - my ‘why’, and make a meaningful goal that I could create a plan for.

Here are my top tips that can help keep you moving (even when you're in the valley of despair):

  • Be clear on your ‘why’ - why are you making this change and what does it mean to you?

  • Create a plan that isn’t overwhelming 

  • Be flexible in your mindset (this will help with challenges)

  • Reward your successes (however small) THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

  • Stay focused on the end goal when you’re feeling challenged

  • Adjust your goal if you sense that’s needed (sometimes what we thought we wanted is in fact something else)

  • Have someone like a coach who can help you think clearly and keep you accountable

  • Be kind to yourself

Perhaps the biggest question you can ask yourself, if you’re still feeling held back by your fears, is this…if I change nothing now, what regrets might I have in 10 years time?

In my work as a coach, change is often the catalyst that brings clients to my practice. Change is inevitable, it will happen to you or by your own actions, and I consistently see that fear can be your friend or foe. If you are struggling with change and fear, just know that you are not alone and finding the right coach for you can be the first great change you make today.

about the author

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Jessica Smith is an ICF certified Executive Coach who helps people rediscover their personal power, find their authentic voice, and perform at their very best. She also helps brands and businesses curate and execute marketing and social media campaigns after spending 20+ years in various creative marketing and media roles. 

With personal experiences of neurodiversity in her life, Jessica is a strong advocate for the neurodiverse community, particularly in workplace and team coaching. She loves nothing more than people feeling seen, understood, and empowered through the coaching experiences she shares with them. 

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jess

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